Tom: C
   
[VERS
E 1]
     
Am                 G                        D
 The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair
               
F                Am                  G
 Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip
                        
D                           F
 In the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade
        
Am                      G                D
 And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon
     
F                  Am
 To employ your testosterone
                   
G                  D          F
 In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV
Am                   G              D                      F
 And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts, bruises, and scrapes
             
Am                     G
 And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments
     
D                            F               Am
 And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home
     
G                    D              F            Am
 She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes
       
G                  D
 And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth
            
F
 And that's why you
[CHORUS]
       
Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
        
Am      G
 Holla Jesu Christe
           
D        F
 From Tennessee to L
A
       Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
         
Am        G
 On your reckoning day 
            
D            F
 You better bow down and pray
          
Am  G
 She's so big
          
D   F
 She's so strong
         
Am   G            D          F
 She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
       
Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
 
[VERS
E 2]
Am                   G               D                     F
 I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though she isn't mine
Am                         G                           D                         F
 I think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's a-live
            
Am                        G
 She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack
D                              F
 The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act
Am                          G
 I wish that I could get to know her better
             
D                                F
 But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter
Am                      G
 I carved her name into all the trees
D                 F
 Sang a song down on one knee
Am                   G                      D                 F
 Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like when I was 14
Am       G             D                 F
 I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around
             
Am                  G                    D                          F
 I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate on a bed of nails with my pants pulled down
[CHORUS]
       
Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
        
Am      G
 Holla Jesu Christe
           
D        F
 From Tennessee to L
A
       Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
         
Am        G
 On your reckoning day 
            
D            F
 You better bow down and pray
          
Am  G
 She's so big
          
D   F
 She's so strong
         
Am   G            D          F
 She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
       
Am G    D     F
 Thank God for girls
[VERS
E 3]
Am                   G     D                 F            Am
 God took a rib from Adam, ground it up in a centrifuge machine
                    
G               D                    F
 Mixed it with cardamom and cloves, microwaved it on the popcorn setting
       
Am           G             D
 While Adam was like "that really hurts"
             
F             Am            G
 Going off into the tundra, so pissed at God
        
D                             F                      Am
 And he started lighting minor forest fires, stealing osprey eggs
                  
G                            D
 Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea
F               Am                    G
 Until God said, "Imma smite you with loneliness
     
D                   F
 And break your heart in two"
     
Am            G       D               F     Am             G
 And Adam wept and wailed, tearing out his hair, falling on his knees
               
D
 Looked to the sky and said
 "Thank God"